I've been thinking about adulthood a lot recently. this may be because of the fact that I'm 23 and its the sort of age which i always felt was when you had to be a fully paid up member of the adult world. possibly it's because I'm kinda settling into my job now and i sometimes get mistaken for someone who has his life sorted out (this unsettles me). maybe it's just this time of year - April is a time of flux and of change and I kinda feel like I need to grow somehow.
it's funny. we age, and as we do we accrue all these shards of experience and knowledge which we sow into a puppet which we call an adult. the only thing is that the one pulling the strings is still the same confused person who is staring at a bewildering world wondering what to do next.
from conversations with older generations we know that they pretty much feel the same way. that all these outward signs of adulthood are a shell and that they feel the same way as when they were younger. the fact that despite tacitly acknowledging this we still manage to go on pretending that it matters is staggering. and possibly amazing. i think that maybe i love the way we constantly strive to deceive those around us and, more importantly, ourselves. i mean that it's such a beautiful thing in a way. very few of us want, or even can i guess, to see the world as it really is. i know that i don't.
meh - thats a bit spraffy i think.
i just wonder whether there are people who really take themselves seriously. i know a few people at work who are very senior and important (at least to the firm) and i sometimes wonder whether within those stern and taciturn men there're some very puzzled kids who're wondering when they're gonna get to go out to play. sometimes i wanna give them a tickle. just to see what would happen.
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